Gratitude is an Attitude

I recently saw a prayer post on Instagram that inspired me to write.

A portion of it read "Help me get my random attitudes under control so that I don't walk around bitter or just waiting for a moment to lash out. Better me in every aspect. I am made in your image. I only want to be who you want me to be."

This resonated with me because I've been in a funk about school this summer. I have been working on my doctorate since 2018. I am a very good student and completed all of my coursework in 2020. Then, the dissertation process began. I have no way of knowing how many hours I poured into the paper up to this point, but I know I've sacrificed many moments with my loved ones that I'll never have an opportunity to do over.

Earlier this summer, the first 70 pages of my dissertation were approved by my chair and sent to the internal review board (IRB). My IRB methodologist completed a partial review and said my paper was off-topic, to which my chair then agreed with the methodologist. I'm now facing the decision that about 70% of my content has essentially been deemed useless for my selected topic. This is a tough pill to swallow heading into Year Six.

I have so much goodness happening in my life. I recently accepted a promotion at work. I am maintaining wonderful relationships with current and past work colleagues. The gym is becoming a place I enjoy. My eating habits are improving (a little less bacon and a little more root vegetables). My mom, siblings, and extended family are healthy. It's truly just school that's got me bent out of shape and sending me lower on the mood elevator.

In comes the IG prayer. I am becoming better in so many aspects. I don't want to harbor any bitterness because we aren't meant to carry such negativity. It weighs down our hearts, stifles our creativity, and smoothers our ability to hear God's instruction.

Gratitude is the attitude I'm choosing to operate in, in spite of the sometimes seemingly overwhelming sour spots. Not everyone had an opportunity to breathe on July 28, 2023. Being able to experience a new day is more than enough reason to shift the narrative from the negative and bask in the bright light of gratitude. Get the flowers, light the candle, and breathe deep. Everything is going to be alright.